– Jan Scholten
‘The worst thing is if they think I am stupid’.
The general picture of Calc-p is quite well known. It is all the more surprising that we do not know a central theme or essence yet.
Concepts
Calcarea Phosphorica
What do others think Communication
Sensitive to criticism Sympathetic
Insecurity Friends, acquaintances,
neighbours
Shyness Brothers
Fears Homesickness
Protection Curiosity and travel
Withdrawal Restlessness and fears
Group analysis
The group analysis provides as the central theme of Calc-p the delusion that others will think that they are not very good at learning or making friends. This theme is a little unexpected at first sight. We don’t find any indications towards it in the literature. One reason why this theme is not present in the literature could be the shy and hiding character of Calcarea itself. If we pause to think about this theme for a while, we will see that the usual expressions of the Calc-p state can be the result of this basic delusion. In Calc-p schoolchildren with headaches we usually find this theme as the underlying cause. In the case described below we also find the theme as deduced through group analysis. Calc-p is extremely sensitive about what others will think of his learning capacities. One expression of this theme might be that they start to study very hard, just to prevent others thinking that they can’t learn or communicate very well. They are always busy developing their knowledge, they continually want to see and experience new things. We find this in the repertory under ‘desire to travel’ and ‘desire to wander’. But they feel uncertain about the things they have seen and learned. They doubt their own powers of observation and judgment. That is the reason they want to experience new things, or variations of these, again and again. The desire to develop themselves further makes them very impatient and restless. They remain dissatisfied with what they know, and want to keep on experiencing new things. Zaren (seminar Lelystad) concluded that they are often very boyish. Girls would rather climb trees, have excitement and do naughty things, than sit quietly at home.
They might get mentally exhausted from all this intensive learning. Then they cannot study anymore, even talking becomes too much for them. Here we get the symptom ‘prostration of mind from talking’.
Another reaction is that they might give up and withdraw. They are afraid that they can’t live up to expectation and that others will notice this, so they would rather withdraw. We often see this with schoolchildren. The demands of school are too high for them, they cannot cope with spelling or maths. They develop an aversion to school. At school they might get a headache or a stomach ache. We find this in the repertory as ‘desire to go home’ and ‘headache in schoolgirls’. Another situation in which Calc-p might be needed is when there is a lovesickness. In this case it is useful to differentiate between Calc-p and the Sulphuricums. The latter have a problem in the whole area of love and and partners. In Calc-p and the other Phosphoricums it is more a matter of the breaking of a contact, the loss of a friendship. Calc-p is afraid that others will think that that they cannot be a good friend.
Case
A woman, aged 35, has mental problems. She has the feeling that she can’t do things the way she wants to. She feels that she has to cope with everything on her own. It is really all too much for her. She feels there is no time left for herself, and she is not satisfied with that. She has to be there constantly as a mother for her two children, as a wife, as a friend, as a teacher. She wants to do a lot of things besides that. She does do a lot of courses and therapies as well as her housework and her job. She doesn’t want to play the victim. As a child she learned to take on lots of work: ‘no complaining, there are jobs to be done’. She often had to help in her parents’ bakery and on her afternoon off school she had to do the delivery round. Now she is searching for further self development. Of all the children she is the only one who went her own way and she is very involved in all sorts of alternative therapies and ways of thinking. She is an open type of person who talks readily and shows her feelings easily. She is very spontaneous and often acts before she has thought about it properly. As a child she was very playful and happy. She would rather climb trees with the boys than play with dolls. When she was 12 this spontaneous playfulness changed. It happened during a parents’ meeting at school, when she was handed her final school report. The head teacher told her parents that she was not very good at studying and he advised them to send her to an easy secondary school. This shocked her terribly. She decided to go to a grammar school after all and she worked incredibly hard to show everyone that she was capable of studying. This turned her into a serious girl. She cannot make choices.
Dreams: she dreamt that her arms were changed around, but her left index finger kept on pulsating, it wouldn’t heal. Somebody said ‘You used to have such brave little hands, why do they have to be changed?’.
In another dream she was getting out of a car with a child in her arms, when a big tiger suddenly came towards her.
Complaints: She often has a low backache, at the level of her sacro-iliac joints. This complaint started after her pregnancies. The pain is nagging, the spot is hot and red. The pain is worse before menses, (>) pressure of her hands, () evening, when she can do things for herself.
Desires: sweet, spicy, cheese, fruit, raw vegetables.
Aversion: cauliflower, snails.
Menses: late.
Sleep: good, but less sound if she has to work very hard.
Analysis
The dissatisfaction and the boyishness already make us think of Calc-p. The back pains also fit in this picture: ‘back pain, sacro-iliac’ and ‘back pain sacral, lying on back ameliorates’. Other symptoms that fit are: (