Vicky Menear, MD, (Hahnemann College), who also helped pioneer this remedy, told me that she feels one aspect of this remedy is akin to the feeling that no matter how much the Lac equinum patient wants to do something there is always some reason why it can’t be done, which was confirmed in this case with the patient saying “I couldn’t do the math required to become a vet.” It is a feeling of having a very strong-will but the will is somehow blocked. Perhaps, after we have solidly confirmed this aspect, it might be considered as a repertorial addition in Dreams: of unsuccessful efforts.
January 22, 1996 (case in progress)
31yo woman, referred from therapist.
O: Blue jeans, leather jacket, dark hair in a ponytail, long square facial features, nervous.
Hx: Lymph node removal 1992, pneumonia, asthma, allergies.
F-Hx: Arthritis, prostate CA, thyroid, weight problem, allergies, hepatitis, diabetes, emphysema, heart troubles.
cc: “I’m reliving, having never experienced it as it happened, my Dad’s death…Mom’s anxiety was too much, I wasn’t allowed to grieve.”
“I’m afraid and anxious which makes me irritable. I can’t think clearly. There’s a tightness in my chest.”
Left sided TMJ pains
“I’m depressed before my period, can’t do anything right. It’s hopeless, I don’t like myself. Everything’s flat. I miss the passion. This has been since Dad’s death.”
“The fear is so strong, so out of control. I was raised to just get on with life. I liked being a child, wanted to stay 14yo forever, very happy.” Dad said she could do no wrong. Raised in strict, 7th Day Adventist home. Wants acceptance from her Mom.
Feels anxious in her chest. Nervous, cold, shaky. Anxious about her daughter who has seizures.
Asthma and inhalers for 3 yrs. If she remembers to do it, she can relax with deep breathing to slow things down.
Short tempered, especially with family during anxiety. No patience. Just wants to be left alone. Irritated if bothered. Can’t focus. Can’t think. Wants to move around. Fidgety, from room to room. Better if she has a methodical task to perform. (sighs)
Worries something could be very wrong. Anxious about recent test results (from node) could be cancer.
Anxiety agg. being late.
Low self-esteem about performing at work. “Never up to what I should be.”
“Speaking in front of people agg. anxiety. I won’t say the right thing. I won’t be interesting. agg. being put on the spot with too much to do, when expected to say something, I don’t know as much as others.”
“I’m not doing this job good enough. At home I want everyone to think I’m great in what I do.” Abandons things she fears she won’t do right. (sighs) Wanting to please everyone.
“Never wanted to be a nurse, wanted to be a vet but felt I couldn’t do it -I didn’t know math well enough. Pressured by parents to hang with the right people, to get good grades, always disappointing, not living up to what they wanted.”
Knot in right shoulder muscle, started 7-8 years ago.
Feels frustrated, jerked around. “I won’t be able to do it. I’ll fail. This keeps me from doing things. I think it through and see all the places I would fail. Can’t try anything.”
“I’m an animal freak! Since I was little, especially horses. I’m passionate about horses! I prefer animals to people. I love that! When I ride its so exciting, it’s like life’s blood to me!”
PMS painful swollen breasts, outer left side feels solid, cystic. Extremely irritable, short tempered, absolutely no patience. Wants to grind her teeth. Takes things wrongly from husband. “He pisses me off, right off the bat.” No sexual energy. Can’t focus, concentration gets spacey, can’t pull words from her head. Can’t reason things out.
“My husband is not carrying his fair load! He’s not helping me out.”
“Impatient with Mom, who holds her back…always reminding me what to do. She’s pessimistic. She makes me angry.”
“I get angry when my daughter bothers me. I get sarcastic, raise my voice.”
“I’ve got edgy energy but I don’t know what to do! Needing to do something!” Painting a windowsill made her feel better, a small methodical task she could accomplish.
As a child, animals would eat out of her hand.
Focused on her illness. “Is it cancer -what is it I have?”
Of people, situations, talking, working things out, bounces from one person to another.
Of riding a horse, in a meadow, through the vineyards, or performing in a show with her horse.
About boarding horses, an elite place to keep horses, every detail is spotless, cared for, with special feed, loving, and nice.
Left armpit smells more than right, doesn’t like the smell, sour.
Sweats big time!! with exercise.
O: Very hairy.
Big appetite. desires sweets, salty, greasy, seafood. Beef tastes rotten to me. desires artichokes, asparagus, pasta, breads, bacon. agg. too much greasy food.
Averse pork. Belches with eating. Nausea with anxiety after eating, then gets hungry again with the anxiety. Uncomfortable in stomach.
Can feel heart skip with caffeine. Extremely anxious from coffee: really very, very nervous, has to walk around.
Doesn’t breathe well with anxiety. Used to jog and run but quit in July with the difficulty breathing. “Loved running but felt I was pushing myself.” Doesn’t want to feel forced to do it.
Competitive runner. Doesn’t want to do it if she’s not as good as her husband or others. Gives up if can’t be the best!
Impatient. Doesn’t want someone else driving. Would prefer to lead and teach.
“I don’t want to be a nut like my mom;” pessimistic, suicidal, not wanting to be here. Wants to recapture her passion, her purpose for being here, to be cleansed.
TMJ came on in July around the time of her daughters second seizure and excessive dental work. Difficult to numb in dental work (also difficult to numb with epidural during labor). Couldn’t see straight, couldn’t get a grip on it. Extended into teeth. Excruciating pain!
Wants to pay attention to her health to avoid a heart attack.
Very muscular, like a man.
Menses like clockwork. Menses returned early even with nursing.
Lesions on roof of mouth, swells, hurts agg. stress.
Assessment: Anxiety. Asthma. PMS.
Plan: Lac Equinum 1M
First follow up February 26, 1996
“Twenty-four hours after the remedy got really very, very nervous!! Extreme, couldn’t think of anything I’d done. Came on suddenly, left suddenly, after 24 hours.”
Feeling pretty even keeled since then. Some nervousness but it didn’t last long. It only occurred when she was riding her horse.
Feeling quite mellow. Had a dream about her cystic breast: of walking through a place, picking out clothes. Looked down to see breast was bleeding through an opening, some seeped through the cloth. Went to the ER where it was diagnosed as a boil. “It is letting out poison and you’re going to be fine.” Woke the next morning without any discomfort in her breast, none since.
Hair loss. It’s gotten frizzier.
I’m speaking my needs more to my husband. Verbalizing what I need.
I feel more balanced; able to sit back and evaluate. Things at work don’t make me anxious anymore.
Had a cold. Mouth as if a rotten taste. When sneezing hawks out chunks of foul stuff. Face is breaking out.
Just little twinges of the TMJ, no soreness.
“I need more intimacy, closeness, respect -I don’t feel like settling anymore. I’m speaking my needs. Depression is still there. Have internalized things in the past as being my fault. Now working at it not being my fault. I’m thinking about it more. I have more awareness. More awareness all over.”
Lymph node enlarged in neck, right side, right below the sight of lymphectomy. No pain in it. Not panicked about it as before. Completely forgets about it.
No anxiety in chest. No shakiness. Gets nervous but is aware of it and able to step back.
“Wanting to be left alone is not so bad as before… I haven’t felt like saying: don’t let anyone touch me!”
Not fidgety. Getting bored with her job after 1-1/2 years. OK performing at work. Projects coming together okay at work. Wants to leave early, when the work is done. Has spring fever.
Still worries about daughters seizures. “Not so worried about my own health since the dream.”
Started running again. Energy is better. Spending more time riding, more time with her horse which she is enjoying, thinking, “why didn’t I do this before?! Its great!” Feels jerked around by husband.
Was overly close with mother. Now is setting some boundaries with her.
The aggravation? “was like running out of control, a build up of nervous energy, not knowing what to do with it. A fear feeling that was suddenly over.”
Some spaciness but not as strong, didn’t last long.
No body odors. Doesn’t smell like it used to. My perfume smells different -I threw it away thinking it was bad.
No discomfort in stomach. Still belches and a little nausea but relates it to problems with husband. Uses sugar to feel more awake.
No mouth sores.
Assessment: The simillimum.
Second follow up May 21, 1996
Some nervous times recently, not lasting long, maybe a half a day or so; worried, fearful for daughter, scared since her seizure last month
Wants a divorce. I’m angry. Why am I doing everything?! I’m angry about the way I’m treated, not acknowledged for what I do. Overwhelmed with all to do. In some ways I feel upbeat: it would be a relief to end this relationship.
Domineering with her daughter: “don’t screw up, don’t go out of this box. I get angry if she does. Spanked her when she didn’t listen.” Expects her daughter to perform like other kids, to focus and connect. Frustrated.
Shell of worrying, obsessing on what she’s doing. Can’t relax, impatient.
Feels healthy; yet has had some wheezing. Tiny sore throat with allergies. Never developed into anything. Still has long lump in left breast but no pain like before. No hair loss.
No anxiety at work.
No rotten taste. Discovered it was coming from tonsils. Now massages her tonsils everyday and no more bad taste.
Started using Retin-A topical for skin.
No overwhelming TMJ twinges.
No change lymph and no anxiety about it.
Still running. Had SOB one month ago. Used inhalers without effect. Felt like pneumonia which she’s had in the past; not getting any air, having to lean forward, wheezing and rattling.
Got really drunk at Cinco de Mayo.
Depression has flared a couple times.
“I’m not gonna take anything on that’s not mine.”
Assessment: Partial relapse from antidoting influences.
Plan: Wait on ability of VF to resume from initial dose. Call if conditions continue to worsen/follow up at daughters appointment in three weeks.
Third follow up August 5, 1996
She is visibly distressed. Just this morning was physically abused by her husband. They are separated. She is focused on survival.
“I need to be strong. I know in my gut he’s not telling the truth. It’s not OK.”
Tenacious about wanting the relationship to work out. Frustrated and angry with her husband.
I’m determined. I can’t let him twist things into being OK when they aren’t okay.
No fear episodes. “If it comes, I’m able to put it into perspective.”
TMJ has twinged a couple times, not nearly as bad as a year ago.
A bit more R-shoulder pain occasionally
Left arm pit smells more than the right
Feels an elongated lump in her left breast. No anxiety or fear about it. No pain as before.
Bad breath when stressed. Big pocket of pus in tonsils has returned, with a bad taste, yellow-orange discharge from tonsils. Throat pain agg. lack of sleep, amel. salt water gargle. Sometimes a little bit hoarse.
Nagging cough, as if would get asthma but hasn’t used the inhaler. Some tightness in her chest while running, but no wheezing.
No anxiety at work. Likes where she works and who she works for.
Still using Retin-A: “I need to look good right now.” More relaxed, less impatient. When feeling uptight she gets impatient with her daughter. Wants to get everything done. Trying to do too many things at once. Wants everything done, clean, organized.
“I want to make the relationship work. I don’t want the family unit disturbed. I have wonderful friends.”
Felt she hyperventilated after being abused, an out of control feeling.
Assessment: Partial relapse from stress of separation.
Plan: Stop Retin-A for awhile.
Fourth follow up (telephone) August 15, 1996
Feeling tired and a bit nervous.
Symptoms of a vaginal yeast infection have returned after years of no occurrence.
Assessment: Return of old symptoms.
Plan: Lac Equinum to hold.
Fifth follow up (telephone) August 26th, 1996
The last acute (yeast infection, ROS) resolved without treatment. Everything is getting better.
Some fearfulness, tiredness; came then went away on its own (did not take the remedy).
Some concern about a breast lump. Breast swelling returned with deep pain in L. breast.
No more TMJ pains
No more tonsil discharge
Some tightness in chest; hasn’t used inhaler.
She’s feeling better about her marriage, more positive about the relationship and their future together. I am confident about the action of the remedy in her case.
Assessment: Vital force resolved the return of old symptoms, as well as emotional relapse.
Plan: Wait. Breast exam; mammogram
I have recently given Lac Equinum to an 84 yo man who has a great amount of energy for serving others, but gets very frustrated when his efforts are not well received or don’t meet with success. His friendships are very important to him; he has very close bonds which are life-long. He is a wonderful fellow -does a lot of world wide peace work. “Love is more powerful than the hydrogen bomb” was a memorable line from our first meeting. Things are better with his skin and his frustrations after one month on the remedy. The reason I share this case is because of his friendships which mean so much to him. Roger and Nancy have said that the movie Black Beauty reflects the essence of Lac Equinum, and friendship was very significant in that story. The significance of friendship for Lac Equinum in his case is marked yet it was not mentioned in the proving. I wonder if there are any other similar lac equinum cases that will bear out the significance of this aspect. I would like to ask your readers to please send me a copy of any such cases.
Since September 1996 the patient has experienced feelings of anger and frustration in her marriage. “I’m holding the whole house together…our marriage is not important to him. I’m happy when I’m with my child or my dog or at work. Being with my horse is the best. I feel strong. I challenge everything my husband says. I don’t trust him. But it’s hard to know when to quit. Quitting is failure. I want to give it every last chance. I want to make it work.” Is this a fitting situation for the state of Lac Equinum, where tenacity and endurance keep the person in a dynamic of frustrated effort? In December she decided to separate from her husband. “I feel good. I finally made the decision. This is a powerful move for me.” She had taken the remedy on two occasions when feeling unsettled and panicked about the conflict with her husband. It calmed her. “I was able to stop myself from trying to ‘fix it’ for him.” She had a dream of getting ready for a party.
“Nothing was going right. I was forgetting to get something. Something was wrong with my shoes. The feeling of never quite making it, never quite getting there.”
Her 3 year old daughter has also received Lac Equinum with good results. After stopping breast milk, which the child still asked for a year later, this girl developed tonicclonic seizures with high fevers, lasting as long as 1-1/2 hours. The seizures with would occur after a gastric upset with vomiting. The spasms were worse on the right side. Her urine would smell sweet. She doesn’t like to be held back, said her mother, “I rein her in! She really doesn’t like being stopped from what she wants to do.” She wants to dance at any music, loves to perform. She grits and bares her teeth when told to do something she didn’t want to do. She wants to do what’s in her mind. “I’m still gonna do it,” she’ll say when told not to. She wants to be with their horse, even though it bucks and runs, she wants to play with the horse. Since the remedy she has had fewer seizures, lasting as long as 10 minutes and much milder in form. The mother is decreasing her allopathic medicines.
Jessica Jackson, L. Ac, practices classical homeopathy in greater Healdsburg, California. She is a graduate of the Hahnemann College of Homeopathy.
810 Healdsburg Avenue, Healdsburg, CA 95448 (707) 433-7714 (voice)